Chapter Nine: In which I read 1,000 pages in one week, attend a Harry Potter class, and cross paths with a skunk.

I have completed my first month of school, and, let me tell you, I am so busy! I have never had to read this much before in my entire life. Here is just one week's Homework List:

Mormonism Class

• Quinn reading pgs. 66-194 &265-313
• Brown reading pgs. 3-52
• Stapley reading pgs. 53-117
• Stapley reading #2 pgs. 1-34
• Stapley reading #3 pgs. 1-33
• 1-2 page single spaced response

Virginia Woolf Class

• Old Bloomsbury pgs. 181-201
• Marius the Epicurean pgs. 1-8, 227-240
• Clive Bell's Art pgs. 1-48, 76-94, 150-238, 251-291 
• Religio Medici pgs. 12-13
• A Passionate Apprentice pgs. 310-314

Theories and Methods Class

• What is Gnosticism? pgs. 1-343 (whole book)
• Harnack's "Outlines of the History of Dogma pgs. 541-567
• 500 word response

Love, Death, and Nothingness

• Heidegger's "What is Metaphysics?" pgs. 181-202
• Nishitani's "Religion and Nothingness" pgs. 1-76, 119-133

So, if I'm not mistaken, that is right around 1,000 to 1,100 pages of reading and two responses in one week. Also, I have to be able to converse about these readings with some insight since three of my classes are seminars (discussion-based courses with 16 or so students) and one has a section hour where we discuss with a group of 10 students.

So now you know why I am so so so busy every week. I literally have never read so much in my life, and that is saying a lot. So how am I doing it? Spencer. He has made every dinner for over a month, done all the shopping and cleaning, edited every response I've written, read out loud to me, and nurtured me with patience and attentiveness. He is seriously incredible. 

So let's see, it has been a while since I posted since I've been so insanely busy. But September has been wonderful nonetheless. I finished up my last freelance editing project of the summer. It was a bit stressful to have to split my time between editing and doing homework, but I finished it by the deadline. (A total miracle . . . and lots of hard work.) On Labor Day, Spencer and I decided to go on a bike ride to explore the Beaver Brook Nature Reserve a mile or so up the road. It was so nice to get out!

Spencer and I also got to go to our very first clambake! Spencer's brother, Caleb, came down from Maine to spend the day with us, and it was a blast. It was the 48th annual clambake for the ward (talk about tradition!), and they always have a dessert contest. Well, I ended up becoming a judge, and, let me tell you, eating 20 or more desserts is not the pseudo-heaven that I thought it would be. It didn't take long for the others judges and I to come up with a system of splitting one portion between us all in order to survive the experience. :) But, it was delicious. Oh! I tried a clam! Sooooooo weird. I don't know if I'd go seek it out as a meal, but it was okay. Needless to say, I was simply proud that I tried one. After a day of socializing and playing games with Caleb, it was back to reality of school and homework.   

Luckily my classes are going well, and I enjoy them. (Well, except for Theories and Methods, which is required. But I really like the people in my section group, so there's that.) I've settled into work and started into some extracurricular activities. The first activity is being a choir member pretty much every Wednesday for Noon Service. Noon Service is a hour or so gathering, everyone is welcome, where a religious or spiritual group on campus represents a worship service from their tradition. The groups take turns, so the LDS Student Association will be conducting noon service in a week or two, and so far, the Unitarian Universalists, Muslim Council, the Divinity United Church of Christ Student Group have led the noon service. This has turned out to be a very powerful experience for me. Something about singing just invites the Spirit, I think. And Harry Huff, our director is extremely talented. I've also gotten to sing songs that aren't typical or found within the LDS hymn book, so that has been fun. This last Noon Service was especially moving because a group of black students held a die-in after the opening remarks of the host group. They were bringing awareness to the deaths of Terence Crutcher and Keith Lamont, showing us with a very visceral presentation the danger of not addressing institutionalized violence, no matter why it is occurring. I can't really describe how it felt. I cried through the whole thing. As an empath, I was deeply overwhelmed by the grief, rage, and hope in the room. I'm not sure I will ever experience something quite like that again.

I've also joined a delightful group called HDS Creative Commons. We bond over crafts, and so far we've had a splendid time becoming friends over a crafty show-and-tell potluck, a visit to a craft night at a local craft store, and a guest speaker, who taught us about quilting. It is pretty much my favorite thing! I adore the people, I adore crafting (I'm currently working on a crocheted baby blanket.), and I love the mental, emotional and social health time it affords me. Photos to come.

The final group/class I've become involved in is Harry Potter as a Sacred Text. It is freaking awesome! So the basic premise is not that the Harry Potter books have an otherworldly sacredness, but that we make the things we love sacred by the way we treat them and interact with them. For example, I believe that my relationship with Spencer is sacred; therefore, I treat him (or try to) and love him in a way that shows my deep conviction toward the sacred relationship we have, covenants we've made, and future we hope to share. Similarly, we love Harry Potter, and, for many of us, Harry Potter has played a significant role in our lives as we grew up reading them. So every week, we meet to discuss and engage with the portion we read ahead of time. This is a year-long course, so we get to read at a decent pace. Each year of reading is also specifically characterized by a concept that we'd like to engage with. This year's is "Vulnerability is strength."

The first week, we read Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone chapters 1-4. We open up the class by sharing our towers and dungeons (a high and low) of the week with a partner. Such a great bonding technique! We then summarize the reading, discuss the reading's themes, and then practice a form of Lectio Divina. Lectio Divina is a traditional Benedictine practice that deliniates levels of reading and meditation in our case, prayer in the real deal. It also asserts that you could open the scriptures to any sentence and find something meaningful in that sentence. So we pick a sentence, read it, have a moment of silent contemplation and then discuss the passage. We do this four times, once for literal events, once for metaphorical or allegorical insights, once for personal application, and once for a general call to action. We close by reading a weird poem and saying "mischief managed!" It is seriously the best. I already believe in the power of literature, and this is simply a wonderful platform for me to investigate a series I already love. No worries friends who are now suffering from exquisite jealousy! ;) There is a free podcast on iTunes called Harry Potter and the Sacred Text. It doesn't follow our  class, but it is incredible and is run by Casper and Vanessa, both incredible people that I've enjoyed getting to know. 

So now for the skunk story. So Spencer and I were coming home late from a date, and as we walked into the back yard where our door is, we heard a rustling. Something weirdly hairy and black and white was rustling in a garbage bag it had gotten into. I knew immediately what it was. It was like a primordial instinct I knew so fast. SKUNK! I stopped dead. It took Spencer a moment longer to realize what it was. (He had mixed up the tail with the head and thought it may be a peacock.) As soon as he realized that we were less than 10 yards away from a striped skunk that hadn't noticed us yet, he began to lightly click his tongue. He was attempting to safely alert the skunk that we were near without scaring it, so that it would run off instead of spray us. I held my breath. After a moment, the skunk stopped rummaging, looked up, and just sat there. It was almost like it was trying to decide if we were a threat. We didn't move. In a minute or so, the skunk finally decided to scamper away. I heaved a deep breath of relief. Unfortunately, I crossed paths with probably the same skunk as I was coming home late another evening a few days later, and I repeatd the drill: freeze, freak out in my head, try to alert it to my presence softly with a few clicks, and then wait for it to leave once it had noticed me. So now I can saw that I have come within yards of a skunk twice without being sprayed. Thank heaven! Seriously terrifying.

Well guys, we're doing it! We're surviving my crazy schedule and work load, we're making friends (Spencer and I went to a fun dessert party hosted by Kris, who I met in the choir and Laura, who I met in my Virginia Woolf class. It was a blast!), and we're going to introduce my new friend Eliot to Miyazaki. I've become close to Sophia and Seanjoon through the crafting group. And I've gotten particularly close with Heather, a lovely Buddhist nun in my Mormonism class. We've gotten asked over for dinner multiple times by people in the ward. Spencer and I spoke in Sacrament Meeting for the first time together on the blessing of Modern Prophets. And overall life is really great. Oh! And I am going to meet with my primary care physician this next week, so I'll be able to move forward with getting an MRI to make sure my seizures aren't being caused by a brain tumor, so on and so forth. I'm really excited to move forward with treatment and building a relationship with my physician. Oh, and it is Autumn. Basically the most beautiful time of the year, and we just happen to be in New England. No big deal.

So there you have it! TLDR: Natalie's busy, insane life made possible by Spencer. :)

Chapter Eight: In Which I Have a Staring Contest with Cicero and Become Oriented Toward Veritas

This is Cicero. He is carved into the Memorial Chapel, which I walk past on my way from the Harvard Square T station through Harvard Campus and to the Divinity Corner where I work and take most of my classes at Andover Hall. We have staring contests. He usually wins. Demosthenes is hanging out on the far left of the photo, but he and I aren't as tight as me and Cicero.

Anyway, back to the start. On Thursday, August 25, I woke at 6:00 a.m. (oh my word, so early!), and I bused over to Cambridge. I walked through campus looking like a pro (because Spencer and I had already gotten lost and figured out our way around for my interview a week earlier). And then I checked in.

Now a normal day of Orientation, which lasted five days, consisted of eating breakfast (provided); mingling (difficult); attending information sessions (actually quite fun); eating lunch (provided); attending more information sessions, get-to-know-you functions, or small-group break out sessions; maybe attending a worship service; and heading home. And that is pretty much what I did for five days: exhausting but necessary and fun. Now that you know what it was that I did during Orientation, I'll give you my favorite highlights.

• Eating! I was so glad that they catered breakfast and lunch for us. First of all it was yummy, especially the fruit, and eating together was a natural way to sit together and meet new people with every meal. We also had a BBQ one of the days at Dean Hempton's house (Jewett House) and that was a blast. 
• Anytime the Dean spoke to us. Dean Hempton is the most darling older gentleman. He's funny, welcoming, he has a charming Glasgow accent, and he is insightful. Best Dean.
• Seeing how "green" HDS is. What I mean by that is their "green" or sustainability, earth-friendly initiatives. Every food gathering had multiple recycling bins, compost bins, and trash bins. Everything they gave us, including utensils, dishes, etc. was compostable! And these compost bins are in every bathroom as well. :) Yay for making a difference in small but measurable ways!
• The Course Information Sessions. These were a conglomerate of four-minute presentations by each professor regarding the course offerings this Fall term. It was very helpful, and the professors were super funny. So many personalities!
• Meeting with my adviser. My adviser is Matthew Potts, and he is so charming and calming. His advice is very helpful and put me at ease among the innumerable feelings of inadequacy, interloper-syndrome, and "what am I even doing!" that every incoming student feels.
• Conversations with fellow incoming students. I really think this is what made Orientation for me. I'm not so scared to start now that I can wave to my new friends or stop to chat on campus. I met Johnna, Jasmine, Rutdow, Heather, Eliot, Imogen, Joe, Grace, Waskito, Issac, Jenna, Kris, and many many more people. Our conversations were safe and authentic. No one was afraid to ask questions of each other, and I even spent multiple hours explaining doctrines and structures of the LDS Church. 
• Searching for cake during the beginning of the Bicentennial festivities, which marked the end of Orientation with the Bicentennial Convocation and HDS birthday cake! Eliot, Imogen, and I missed out on dessert earlier, so finally finding cake was a really big deal. :)

Left to right: Eliot, Imogen, Me, Rutdow.

So I made it through Orientation! I have my ID card, access to a $ 225 million-a-year library system, my complete guide to HDS for 2016-2017, a charlie card pass for the term, an HDS Bicentennial t-shirt, and friends! I am now a part of the HDS choir, the Creative Commons organization (we craft!), and other organizations that will gear up throughout the term.

In other news, Spencer shaved his beard. And yes, I made a collage of the process. He also helped take care of our neighbor's guinea pigs for a week while they were on vacation. They let us play with their board games, cook, and even use their car for emergencies. So nice! They just got back and paid us and surprised us with a bouquet of pink roses. :) Very lovely people. He's also been taking care of dinner and cleaning so that I can edit when I get home. (I have the last freelance project I'm trying to finish up.) Seriously, Spencer is one of the most actively supportive people I know.

Last Sunday, Spencer and I went to an LDS incoming student annual dinner. There are now seven students at HDS alone, as well as a few LDS professors and Ph.D. candidates across other schools. So we all got together and got to know one another. It was marvelous! Spencer and I couldn't have been more pleased with our experience and new group of LDS friends. Five of the master students are women a few of which are married, so Spencer was able to talk to Mike and Waldir, who also followed their wives across the country and had to find work. They were encouraging and understanding, and Waldir offered to be a reference for Spencer. Such great people!


I am now midway through my first week of classes! The first week of classes is called a shopping period, which means that I can go to as many classes as I want to assist me in deciding which classes to enroll in.

Miracle Moment! 
One of the most important classes to me is Love, Death, and Nothingness. It combines literature, women's experience, motherhood, personal essay, Japanese film, and pretty much everything I love in one cohesive class. Best thing ever! Ironically, I had originally been ambivalent about the course, not really understanding its content. So I had nixed it from my course shopping list. But my adviser happens to be the one teaching the course and mentioned it to me when he heard about my research interests. So I showed up to the first class. Over the course of the class, I realized that this was "it." This was the course that could somehow reach into my many random experiences that led up to my coming to HDS and synthesize them into a beautiful result, one that may even help me formulate my Ph.D. platform. To my chagrin, the feeling that this course might be one of the reasons I was supposed to come to HDS, was accompanied by the realization that the course capped at 15 students and 50 students showed up to "shop" the course. I was sitting among 50 students who wanted to take the course, my ambivalence turned to ardency, and now I might not be selected to take the course. We wrote a paragraph about why we wanted to take the course (I practically bore my soul. Embarrassing.), and we handed our papers to Matthew Potts. He promised to read them all that night and let us know by the next morning.

I spent all night compulsively checking my email. I couldn't tell Spencer what was going on, I was too stressed, too hopeful, too nervous. So I was silent on the issue. (I did tell Eliot, who I ran into on my walk to the bus stop. She said that she would send all her good thoughts my way.) The next morning, I checked my email: nothing. An hour later, I checked my email for another reason entirely, and there it was! I held my breath . . . I'd gotten in!!! He'd stretched the class to 22, saying he just couldn't cut anymore. And I got in! I ran to Spencer, and, amidst many kisses, I explained everything. (He had been curious about my compulsive email-checking.)

So everything has worked out so far. This process has been a bit stressful for me since I generally want to be ahead of the game, very prepared, and quite structured. But things have worked out.

First day of school outfit and customary picture.

So far, I've decided to audit a class called, Animated Spirituality: Japanese Religion in Anime, Manga, and Film. Besides my audited class, I will be taking four courses: Theories and Methods in the Study of Religion, Love, Death, and Nothingness, and Gender and Sexuality in Mormonism. The fourth class will be determined by the last half of shopping week. I've started work with the Office of Communications, I've performed with the choir once, singing a beautiful medley on flowers. And I've felt thoroughly at home among all the lovely people, the faith-promoting dialogue, and vocation-driven studies I've engaged with and in. I'm grateful to live in such a beautiful place, to have the opportunity to study on such a stunning campus and with so many stunning people and resources. I'm grateful that I have a job and that we have a plan for paying rent for the next few months so that Spencer has time to locate work. I'm grateful for Spencer's support and for all the support I'm finding from family and friends far and near, old and new. I'm grateful that there are people in the world willing to dedicate their lives to Veritas—to the search for an understanding of truth, especially to the end of helping humankind. I have been welcomed into that pursuit, and now I must "take courage on this new road" (Betty Friedan) because I feel that this is only the beginning.