It's the Little Things

Today I want to take a moment to notice the little things. Life is always busy and I've discovered that I will never stop running. Ever since I was little I would run till I dropped, really, not an exaggeration. As I've gotten older this hasn't changed. I have always seemed to expect near perfection in all I do, and if I'm not demanding inhuman efforts with how I use my time then someone else is. This is not entirely a bad thing, since it speaks volumes about my reputation, for I was generally thought capable, efficient, trustworthy, and always willing. But in my pursuit of potential, I lost my anchor to sanity and pure and blissful normalcy. And one day I woke up in the hospital.

I remember the walls were white, my head was pounding, and I was swimming among a muck of confusion and disorientation. Where was I? Why did my tongue ache? Why am I drenched in sweat? Why does my mouth taste like rust...wait am I bleeding? And then I saw my doctor. He briefly informed me that I had experienced a seizure and was in the emergency room. It didn't really sink in all I knew was that I hurt everywhere and my doctor was very very attractive. You see it's the little things. ;) I later learned that my sister had been suddenly awakened by a piercing thought, "Wake up, Natalie is dying." She found my bed shaking from my vibrations, and with my head buried in my pillow, I was quickly changing colors. With my tongue shredded she held my shuddering body in her arms as my other sister ran for my parents. I changed nothing and life went on.

A month later it happened again. Both starting with migraines, probably originating from pure exhaustion and stress. And though I didn't end up in the hospital this time and the pain was duller I was taken to a Neurologist and told that I had literally collapsed my Corpus Colosseum from an overload of information. Yep, something needed to change. It's been almost 3 years since that time, and from that day on I've never been the same. I have since learned that stress is a choice, sleep is essential, and it's the little things that make a difference.

The other day I walked home in a rainstorm. It made my day to have it rain, then again I love rain. I got to call my best friend for the first time in weeks. I got seven hours of sleep last night versus the previous three nights of 5 hours each. I cut nine inches off of my hair and was told it was adorable. Jason (my four-year-old brother) called me and told me a bedtime story. I went to Wendy's with Kenyon and Paige for a Frosty. I have no homework tonight and tomorrow night is a barn dance. Last night my roommates saved me dinner and I got to dance with Spencer at the Folk Dance Rec Night, and after watching The Perks of Being a Wallflower he told me why he loved me. Paige brought my glasses to school because I was having allergies, and a random kid smiled at me and in a broken accent told me he like my braid. Tonight Spencer wrapped his arms around me, and Kenyon talked to me for an hour even though we were both exhausted.

This list only covers a few days but each of these moments has made a valuable impression. And sometimes I wonder how I lived before I learned what I was missing. You see, for me, it took a near-death experience to realize that I needed to pay attention to what mattered. and I'd never give that up. I've learned that it's the little things that make a difference, and taking time to notice is what makes each little moment enough to change a life.

-Natalie Cherie